On February 21, 1999, around 2:15 in the morning I had the last drink of my last bender. I was arrested shortly after and scored over .31 on the official applause meter, but my tolerance was so high I was coherent and could rattle off phone numbers of defense lawyers. I was an elected county attorney, a fact that lead to my arrest being front page news and leading story on TV and radio the next few days. It was humiliating. With few options, I checked myself into a small in-patient treatment center in Waterloo, Iowa.
The DT’s lasted about 36 hours. I don’t remember much of that, other than it felt like every square inch of my body was being compressed and painfully squeezed in a vise. A few days after my DT’s ended, one of the other patients died during the night. I saw them taking his body out of his room on my way to breakfast. He was 52, I was 31, and he drank just like I did, only longer. It was that point when I realized my alcoholism could kill me.
I was convinced I could not go 90 days without another drink. I thought alcoholism was going to kill me too. Even though it was early March, I worried about how I would get through St. Patrick’s Day without a drink, and Memorial Day, and for fuck sakes how could I get through the 4th of July sober!! I was declaring myself a failure long before failing, but at some point, finally heard what they had been saying every day: Take this one day at a time. I should not spend time worrying about getting through the 4th of July sober when it was only the first week of March. I only needed to stay sober today, and face the challenges of the future when they arrive. That sunk in. I could do this – I COULD stay sober one day at a time!
I finished treatment and started going to AA meetings. I plead guilty as charged to the drunk driving and spent a week in jail. I resigned my office, but ran for my vacated seat and won. I didn’t just win re-election, I won every precinct and took 70% of the vote. My license to drive a car had been revoked but my license to practice law was intact and I had been working hard to stay sober. I was given another chance.
It has now been 7,670 days without a drink. I’ve been sober 21 years, through a lot of late night parties, a lot of open bars, a lot of boozy, wild soirees, but never picked up another drink.
I am Chad, and I am an alcoholic, but I have not had a drink in the past 21 years. I still go to AA meetings every week. One day at at time worked for me.
